You talk to your partner each day.

But when was the last time you scheduled time to discuss your relationship? 

Many couples fall into the rut of routine and convenience. It’s natural. However, operating on autopilot allows problems to fester.

One of the best ways to invest in each other is to schedule regular relationship check-ins.

Relationships check-ins are planned, consistent meetings between you and your partner. Instead of focusing on anyone else, the two of you are the only topic of conversation. Although it may sound intimidating or uncomfortable, deliberate and honest discussions are a great way to both gauge your relationship and uncover opportunities for improvement.

After all, a conversation today might prevent a fight tomorrow.

However, these sorts of discussions don’t just happen. To make your relationship check-ins as impactful as possible, follow these five tips.

Schedule Ahead Of Time

If your check-ins aren’t planned, it’s easy for life to get in the way. Make them a priority. There’s also no singular schedule to follow. Plenty of couples benefit from weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly discussions. Find a rhythm that works for you and stick to it.

Avoid All The Distractions

If the TV is on or phones are in hand, chances are you won’t have a meaningful connection. Instead, aggressively eliminate distractions. This could mean finding a babysitter for the kids or meeting away from home so that the unwashed dishes don’t steal your attention.

Come With Several Questions

When first getting started, your meeting might be accompanied by crickets. Both of you could be unsure what to say or how to start. It’s helpful to come with questions, such as:

• What do you need from me?
• Do you feel supported and appreciated?
• What went well this week? What could be improved?

Just remember that your check-ins do not have to follow a script. If the conversation moves in an unexpected direction, that’s ok.

Allow Space For Awkwardness

Sex. Finances. Blind spots. Relationships are full of aspects that can be difficult to talk about, but be sure you don’t take these topics off the table. Your check-ins are an opportunity to go beyond the surface and discuss what matters.

Be Prepared To Listen

You will have opportunities to speak, but remember that relationship check-ins are a dialogue, not a monologue. If you aren’t listening, you aren’t being fair to your partner. Even if you want to butt in and defend yourself, give your significant other the space and opportunity to talk.

Couples Therapy

If relationship check-ins aren’t working or if you want professional help, couples therapy is an excellent solution.

Here in Fort Wayne, Headwaters Counseling provides support to couples and families who need a helping hand. Together, we encourage people toward a better life.

Do you have questions? Would you like to get started? Please contact us today.